Published March 27, 2010
WITR Goes AM - No One Notices
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Note: This story appeared in our April Fools Distorter issue and is for comedic value only.

by Margaret Thatcher

WITR (pronounced Twitter, minus the “T”), RIT’s student-run radio station, switched from FM to AM broadcasting last Monday, citing cost concerns. Fortunately for them, no one noticed.

Sven Lisslisisareiserlis, general manager of WITR, attributed the change to financial problems, and commented, “no one really listens to us anyway, we might as well save the money for ‘Hooker-and-Blow Down-with-Jesus Tuesdays.’” When asked to elaborate, Lisilisiissislserlis handed over a phone number, which, upon further investigation traced back to Lislislissserlis’ mother’s landline.

And this week Lisisleriissiserlis’ words rang true for RIT’s general population; the change has gone totally unnoticed. “A radio station?” asked one curious student. “I didn’t realize you could do that without a satellite anymore.”

AM, or amplitude modulation, is a basic form of radio transmission, commonly used by old people. For approximately two years, it was a breakthrough in the means of punching boredom in the face. In the years since, radio (especially AM) has been increasingly rendered obsolete by illegal downloading, wild satanic orgies and thumb twiddling.

As a result of the change, the station is now WITR 420AM. With the unpublicized call number change, many students have noticed a stylistic divergence in the airplay.

“The station seems brighter and more enjoyable overall, especially when I’m on Dave’s PCP,” said NTID student Shirley Trimmer.

“I don’t listen to FM, so I was real excited to see something new come in through my cab’s speakers,” said Dude Harley, one of the many truck drivers to catch onto the station since the switch. Harley enjoys the station, which is what he decides as a nice change to Glenn Beck for the five minutes the station actually comes in near exit 46 on

the Thruway.

Despite the poorer transmission quality, “AM really has its assets, even though you wouldn’t think about it,” said DJ Jay Veeg, a second year Packaging Science major who co-opped as Wigman’s Muzak Coordinator last quarter. “It gives my Wiggles a more avant-garde, post-modern feel.”

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